


supermarket flowers

by suncts



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with... an Ending?, Cheating, Drinking, Heavy Angst, Implied Relationships, M/M, Making Out, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Timelines, very brief Markhei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 04:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16277603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncts/pseuds/suncts
Summary: Two seconds.It took Mark exactly two seconds, exactly this tiny amount of time, to make a decision that he’d regret for the rest of his life.But in the spur of the moment, in the haziness of his drunken state, with the adrenaline rushing through his veins and the loud bass-heavy music emphasizing every thump of his heart, it was just so easy to forget and give in.To do the wrong thing.





	supermarket flowers

 

 

Two seconds.

It took Mark exactly two seconds, exactly this tiny amount of time, to make a decision that he’d regret for the rest of his life.

But in the spur of the moment, in the haziness of his drunken state, with the adrenaline rushing through his veins and the loud bass-heavy music emphasizing every thump of his heart, it was just so easy to forget and give in.

To do the wrong thing.

 

And so he’d next found himself in Yukhei’s laps, big hand feeling up his chest while the other pressed him close by the small of his back, mouths moving sloppily together.

It seemed so rushed, so fast, as though no time in the world could ever be enough to get this over with.

“You think too much..” The taller man had chuckled and Mark had felt the soft puff of air against his lips, had suddenly tasted all the alcohol and - was that nicotine? He didn’t know Yukhei smoked - but he had nodded, then.

Stop thinking, start kissing, he’d reminded himself.

Maybe even further, if he’d feel like it.

 

 

But they hadn’t gotten any further than Mark’s shirt riding up his stomach and Yukhei’s pants getting just a tad too tight.

 

A light tap to the shoulder.

At first it went unregistered by Mark, too occupied with another man’s tongue in his own mouth.

Another tap.

“Jesus christ..” He’d mumbled and broken the kiss, initially to stare down the intruder so that they could go back to making out.

 

 

Remembering it hurt Mark.

Even though everything else was but a dull fact rather than a feeling to him by now, be it his pet dog’s illness or his landlord throwing him out of their - his - apartment, this one memory would never fail to make his heart ache.

 

He’d looked straight at the sun, back then, but only for a moment because looking at the sun for too long would hurt your eyes.

Especially if the sun was crying, sobbing, even.

Mark remembered it in detail, even if his memory really wasn’t the best and he’d still forget his phone number after ten years of having it.

He remembered how all the drunkenness, all the adrenaline and the euphoria disappeared, leaving a bitter feeling to settle in his gut.

He remembered how the taste of sweet whisky, beer and cigarettes left to make space for the taste of vomit making its way up his throat.

 

“I really didn’t know that studying biology suddenly meant examining people in person, Mark? With your tongue, and all?” The way his voice broke, how unfallen tears clogged his throat and made an oh-so-witty remark come out as nothing but a whisper, it all had created the first fracture in Mark’s heart back then.

 

He had scrambled off of Yukhei’s lap completely forgetting about the elder, his whole world within a second moving to revolve all around the crying boy in front of him.

“Donghyuck, I-” he had started, as always not thinking before he spoke because fuck, what was there to say, what could he do to make things alright again?

But Donghyuck, his warmth, his sun, his boyfriend had just scoffed and ran off, leaving Mark behind with a second, tiny fracture working its way around his heart, creating an opening for the eternal winter that was about to settle within him.

 

 

 

Three years later, and the winter solstice came.

 

Mark was working his shift in the coffee shop he’d scored a job at, currently preparing a costumer’s bagel when the door bells jingled.

 

And, for whatever reason, the young man had whipped his head up, suddenly staring directly at all too familiar tanned skin and soft hair that was now dyed orange.

Huge contrast to the black hair Mark had known and loved.

 

He hadn’t been able to fight it, back then.

 

The sudden surge of warmth rising up and settling in his stomach, the tears forming in his eyes. God. He’d missed his sun so much.

But with the warmth came fear, a big and angry monster, clawing at the old and weak bandages hiding the fractures in Mark’s heart.

Panic rushed through his veins, his brain screaming at him to run away, run away, run away.

 

“Mark.” One simple word, and the addressed man had calmed own. Ironic, how the cause of this poisonous panic was, at the same time, the ultimate antidote.

It took him a moment, a deep breath, to muster up the courage and, he’d still not figured it out to this day if this was another thing to regret, looked up, locking eyes with the younger man.

He remembered still, how the air had been knocked out of his lungs and his heart had felt as though being squeezed just a bit too tightly at the softness laying in the brown eyes looking back at him.

 

How those eyes had held the softness, even as the two of them sat down to talk things out, to catch up, as they filled with uncried tears of pain, of heartbreak.

How the voice, so familiar but somewhat strange, after three years, had never once turned harsh, had stayed melodic and sarcastic, in a way that had made Mark tear up once again.

How soft the other’s hand had felt on his cheek, wiping those tears away, how warm.

Mark remembered, would never forget the day that winter ended and summer moved back into his heart, slowly, but surely.

 

 

 

Now, in the present, Mark is hoping to forget. Almost hoping.

 

It’s all just too painful, the monsters of the past clawing at his heart. He’s just a mere, weak human. 

A coward, even.

But there’s warmth with him, a lovely touch whenever he finds himself on the verge of breaking down, whenever he hopes and prays to forget.

 

A reminder that the good outweighs the bad.

That forgetting the pain isn’t worth forgetting their connection, their bond. The laughs and smiles, the love between them.

Mark is utterly grateful for that reminder, for the fact that Donghyuck is still there for him, whenever he needs him. That he forgave him so long ago.

 

So he goes to seek out the younger man, goes to him to for the strength he himself can’t muster up.

Mark, an established author by now, never finds words to thank his sun enough for warming and protecting him, for bringing light into the darkness threatening to drown the elder, even still from up above.

 

“It’s been a long time, Donghyuck-ah.” Mark says, and with a smile he puts flowers before the stone in front of him.

 

Lee Donghyuck, my precious sun, now and forever.

06.06.2000 - 12.08.2027, it reads.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> right uh. someone on twt told me to write angst And So I Did.  
> blame them, not me!
> 
>  
> 
> nonetheless, i hope you enjoyed this, as much as uhh,,, possible. yknow.  
> (please don't yell at me im Sensitive)


End file.
